Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.
Parks Official: No sir, you cannot
Parks Official: No. They are a protected species
Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them
Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them
Parks Official: If you like, we can– no, I’m it. I’m the ranking official here. There’s nobody above me. My boss? You mean… the governor’s office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye
After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.
“There’s a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be… legal ramifications. So he called us.”
I laughed. “Does that happen often?”
“Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month.”
Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious
Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?
It’s never been more lonely or isolating to be a young person than these last 5 years. Meeting actual people you can connect with takes a lot of energy and time so at the end of the day it’s the vulnerable people that are being left behind
And sometimes I lay awake and think ‘’What if I will forever be this lonely little thing? What if I die like this?’’ so im putting effort into preventing that. But I know not everyone is able to do that. I guess what im trying to say is that I suspect there are a lot of lonely people and these numbers will only increase. So if you’re lonely rn I just wanna say that you’re not alone in this. It’s just really hard
by far the funniest reason my dad came up with for why he doesn’t want me to work in the funeral/mortuary industry is because it’s “unattractive”. like man do you think i apply to jobs based on their impact on my tinder profile.
it’s even funnier that how wrong he is too. if i work in the morgue i’ll get bitches you couldn’t even imagine.
AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i’m worried that if he realizes he’s dead he’ll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won’t be able to hang out with him anymore?
AITA if i’ve been dead for a while but haven’t told my best friend yet because he doesn’t seem to have realized i’m a ghost and if he does i’m worried that he’ll finally be able to accept it and let me go and i can’t bear the thought of losing him?
my brothers share special interests and my favorite thing to do is walk in a room and be like “hey guys can you tell me about the mariana trench” and then sit there for an hour while they both infodump to me about the ocean it’s extremely entertaining
and my parents are always like “oh my god why would you do that” bitch. I want to learn about the ocean and these two thirteen year old boys r my most trusted source
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I mean, I could google questions I have about medieval weaponry and horsemanship, but on the other hand I could message my sister the simple statement “have question about historical saddles” and get both a phone call and a comprehensive 3 page google document within an hour
Seriously, if you know someone who has a special interest you’d like info about, go ask them! It costs zero money, you make them happy, and you learn way more than a basic google search would tell you.
Asking is a love language
Asking is a love language
This is also true for people who are not autistic, like academics and people who enjoy teaching! One of my happiest memories is the time some of my friends were chatting on the porch, and one of them stuck their head in and said, “Hey Ash, why are owls associated with wisdom?” And I was like, “Well! It’s because–” and she called another friend and they let me teach them about Athena for two minutes.
